Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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