So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
