I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
