possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
