The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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