If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
