IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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