he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
