weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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