All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize