i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
