Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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