no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize