We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
