If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize