You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
