I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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