dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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