The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
