remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
