You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
