the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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