i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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