If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
