I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
