Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
time to smoke my breakfast
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
