so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize