and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
