I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
