Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
