and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
