I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
