that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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