Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize