i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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