i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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