the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize