i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Couch. On fire.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
