i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
When did angry sex become our thing?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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