I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize