We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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