Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
