I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
from now on my penis is your penis
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
