Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
