we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I will be naked everywhere
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
