I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
