Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My vagina is officially offended.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
