mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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