you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
