My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
drinking out of a sandbucket again
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
