And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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