I am puke
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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