I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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