I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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