By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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