oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize