i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize