No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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