I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
