Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
