I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
