No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
