dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
