Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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